In an interview earlier today, J.P. Ricciardi made his demands clear: You want Doc Halladay, you best be willing to give up a boatload.
“If we ever did get to that point, we’d want a boatload. And I don’t know whether anyone would offer a boatload. But obviously, we’re not at that point.”
Shortly after that interview was published, a trade was approved by the MLB:
Toronto gets somewhere between 10 and 15 Cuban defectors, while Cuba gets a proven ace in Roy Halladay. Once an international power-house, Cuba’s slumped lately and believe that Halladay can help them defeat those pesky AZNs.
The Jays also think they’ve made out like bandits: “I realize some of these guys might not work out,” said Ricciardi, noted douchebag, “but realistically, we’re just looking for spare parts. One, maybe two, guys pan out — great! Our plan all along has been to harvest their ligaments and tendons before sending them back to Cuba. Shaun needs one, Dustin could use one, B.J.’s probably going to need at least 3 or 4…”
Ricciardi believes this could be a long and mutually beneficial relationship between the Toronto Blue Jays and the Cuban National team: “…something along the lines of what Billy Beane and I have going,” gleefully sang Ricciardi.
Ricciardi refused to comment on speculations that he was harvesting two or three pairs of eyes for Braves’ slugger, Brian McCann.


